A Sister Writes

My Experience of Jehovah's Witnesses

I started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses when I was only seventeen years old.  My parents were quite opposed to this, as they thought that it was a cult, and to my surprise six years later, I realize that it is.

I was a very enthusiastic young witness, always wanting to do the right thing.  I was prepared to make any sacrifice that I had to in order to please Jehovah God, and I did.  I lost all of my childhood friends, but felt that I had gained new ones in the Kingdom Hall.

Just before I was baptized in the summer of 2002, I attended a barbecue hosted at a large farm by one of the families in our Vegreville Congregation.  I met a young man there and I felt that we immediately had a connection.  I was under false pretences at the time that "all Jehovah's Witnesses are good" and so I never questioned anyone's motives in the organization, I just assumed that everyone was a good person who wanted to serve Jehovah.  This young man, twenty six at the time, seemed wonderful, charming and kind.  He especially enjoyed children and I was moved by how he was able to connect with the children on their level and play so well with them.  We spent nearly the entire afternoon together and then at the end of the evening we exchanged phone numbers and email addresses. It was only a matter of days until we started talking very frequently and began dating.  He had come to visit my congregation often and the very first time he did, a brother, not a ministerial servant or an elder approached me and said that, "this brother was no good." but he refused to tell me on what pretended he thought so.  I was baffled.  I didn't heed his advice because I thought that it was unfair in the eyes of Jehovah to judge someone by gossip and hearsay.  So I mentioned this to my boyfriend and assured him that I could make up my own mind about him and didn't need a second opinion.  We continued to date and then when I moved away to go to college we broke it off with the intension of getting back together after I was finished my program.  Two years later, we did see each other again.  It was my goal to regular pioneer and I wanted a husband who would join me in the full time ministry.  I brought this up several times and after being quite angry that I would want this from him finally told me that he could NEVER pioneer.  I couldn't understand this, as I was unaware that people could have their privileges taken away.  I tried extremely hard to get him to open up to me and tell me what he had done.  He wouldn't.  I left it alone thinking that in his own time he would tell me.  Again, I was warned that he was "not a good brother" by the exact same brother, but I kept thinking that this was unkind to say that about anyone and kept staying with him. 

Finally my boyfriend had proposed to me, and we were engaged.  Once everyone had heard this, they all seemed happy, but a little reserved.  I didn't know why, until....

I had gotten angry with my husband -to -be because he refused to tell me of  his past transgression.  I insisted that he tell me if I was going to marry him.  What he had told me was shocking.  There was no way I could have ever been prepared for what he was about to tell me.  He told me while we were on the telephone, when he had finished I nearly fainted and dropped the phone.  

He had said, " I touched some children."  I was shocked.  I wanted to know everything as, he had wanted to have children with me as soon as we got married. He had said that he had preformed numerous acts of sodomy on children his nieces and nephews from the ages of 3 years old up to 8 years old.  This went on for years.  I wanted to know the details, to know how severe this was.  He claims that he touched their genitals orally as well as manually when they were sleeping.  In his mind, they children had no recollection of this because they were "asleep".  I was outraged.  I was spinning.  I didn't understand why the elders would allow someone that had performed these acts in the congregation.  He told me that he was "publicly reproved" and his privileges of serving as an elder, ministerial servant or regular pioneer were also taking away, but that he was free to go out in service as much as he liked.  He was not accompanied by an elder in the field service, I know because I was there.  On several occasions he was out in service with young girls and boys, with no one supervising him!  I wanted him to be arrested for his crimes, but his family refused to press charges.  I wanted him to seek therapy, but he refused.  I talked to his parents about this matter explaining that I didn't know how to deal with this issue, as I could never trust our future children with him.  They explained to me that it was "taking care of" and to stop making trouble and leave it alone.  I approached the elders and they brushed it off saying that they didn't want to deal with this because they could be sued for "slander" as could I if I went to the authorities. They best solution they said was to "forgive and forget.  He is sorry for what he has done."  That wasn't good enough for me. I dumped him.  Anyone that protects child molesters does NOT have God's spirit.  I finished my last talk and never went back to the kingdom hall, and probably never will. The brothers didn't talk to me for 10 months then called me on the phone and claim that I was to be disfellowshiped for putting pumpkins on my deck for Halloween.  In an organization that disfellowships people for something as petty as that but does not disfellowship the members that are child molesters is insane.

Thanks for listening.

VJ